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Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Extreme Jealousy

Mon, Dec 6th 2010

Hello:

I'm a beautiful, successful and smart 22 year old female. My problem is, I'm very jealous. I mean, I'm disturbingly jealous. I don't even want to let my boyfriend speak to cashiers in the supermarkets or waiters in the restaurants. I'm psychically in pain, in my stomach and in my chest, when he goes out with his friends, even though I know that he's just going to a pub with his male friends. If he occasionally goes to a club or (we're in different cities right now, temporarily), I cry at home all night and thinking about ending this relationship instead of being in this much pain. And my boyfriend is not even flirty person. He had very few relationships before he met me. I know he's not searching for anything.

We're together almost one year, and we really love each other. But my jealousy is tiring me and him. Sometimes try to be reasonable and tell him that ofcourse he can go out with his friends and I'm okay with it. However and in fact all I'm cry, suffering and preparing myself to a break-up because I fear he'll meet someone while he's out.

Before I met him, I was always a very attractive woman who was asked out by lots of people. I was avoiding relationships because I already knew my painfully jealous condition. Now that I'm in a relationship, I'm suffocating myself with my own jealousy.

Even though everybody around me says that he can't possibly find anyone better than me and I can find someone much better than him, I feel inferior.

 What can I do and how can I start to accept that it is normal for him to talk with females, and I shouldn't be freaked out all the time?

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