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Spousal Abuse and Borderline Personality Disorder

Fri, Nov 4th 2005

In late 1995 I started dating following a divorce from a 29 yr marriage (32 yrs total). This woman had also been recently divorced, her 2nd time. We married 4/98, after somewhat of a very difficult dating period. I experienced frequent, with regularity, stages of rage, and anger on her part, for often times seemingly minor things. I thought they would end after we got married, because she always feared that I would leave her. They didn't. They got worse. In August 03, and after 3-4 other events of physical abuse (punching), I filed a complaint and obtained an order of protection. I later dropped the criminal charge, as my wife promised to get into therapy. She didn't, but she did file for divorce and then after 6 mo. withdrew her petition. Again agreeing to reconciliation. Never happened. In November 04 I filed for divorce. I'm haunted by the action of getting an order of protection, and I know it was painful for my wife to be arrested. But I feel I took the appropirate action. Either she would get help or the marriage was over. Well, at that point there really wasn't a marriage. Sometimes I feel like I acted too harshly, knowing what consequences she would face. Spousal Abuse is horrible! How much is wife on husband? How much doesn't get reported because us Macho guys don't want to be looked upon as wimps. (I'm 6'2" 200 lbs and I can take care of myself). But wouldn't hurt my wife...

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