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Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

My Husband is Too Affectionate

Wed, May 5th 2010

When we first got together, it was wonderful to be constantly kissed, adored, complimented, most women would kill for a man like this. My husband is handsome, intelligent and funny, as well as having an abundance of emotional intelligence too. Sounds perfect, doesn't he! Don't get the idea I'm constantly looking for perfection,  I'm not that kind of person. I'm ok with flaws, everyone has them. The problem is that recently I've started feeling a bit stifled by all the attention. Something that was lovely to begin with has started to become annoying, in that, for example, when I'm getting dressed for work in the morning, my husband will grab me and hug me, even if I'm in the middle of putting something on. He tells me he loves me about 10 times a day, and I find I'm not saying it back to him because I don't like that kind of automatism. I've never needed or received an overt amount of affection as a child.  I've had good relationships as an adult and my last one lasted 9 years, but after a bad extraction (on my part) we've remained on friendly terms (although we're not really in touch regularly).

I've spoken to my husband about this, and he says he understands, but after about 2 days of trying to moderate his affection, he's back to square one. I know I sound ungrateful, but the more stifled I feel, the more I retreat and find I'm not giving him what he obviously needs. What's the best way to deal with this?

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